What I'm Releasing from 2018 Hard & Fast

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What is no longer serving me is no longer serving other women on a grander scale. So I invite you to join me in releasing these things, hard & fast. There’s no space for this in my world any more. What are you ready to leave behind in 2018?

  1. Women in positions of leadership or power who claim to be about the raising up of other women, but are not really there to do so. Narcissists showing up for themselves with a facade of feminism, community and spirituality. I’m not about it, I will not support you or your businesses in order to fit in, in order to appear I’m in your sisterhood of falsity, in order to play by your rules. You are trampling over women in the name of six figures. In the name of recognition. In the name of proving your worth. You’re hurting people and we deserve better. Check yourself, and let’s stop putting these women on pedestals out of fear of backlash.

  2. Ignoring racism in the spiritual and entrepreneurial worlds. It’s there, it exists, I am white and I cannot change that but I can do better in externally showing my effort to support women of color. This has been a big underlying theme that’s come up for me in the last year. I see more women bringing these tough but necessary discussions to the table and it’s made me uncomfortable and intrigued and I’ve started taking a deeper look at who I engage with, who I collaborate with, who I learn from, who I support, who I work with and how to leverage my privilege for good in this world, while not letting it hold me back with fear of accepting opportunities or shining my brightest. Supporting and shining light on women of color does not take away from my soul’s mission, my work, my income, and it does not take away from any other white person’s. I don’t believe spirituality belongs to any one race or culture, I believe the sharing of rituals & traditions is a good thing, but there is so much that’s been stolen or appropriated or gone uncredited and it’s overwhelming to consider it all, but I want to be more conscious of where my practices are coming from and what I’m sharing and it’s origins. I’m not going to do it perfectly, but I will try to do better. I’m proud to have participated in some great events in 2018 that truly showcased diversity and support of women (Shout out RebelleCon & Self Employment in the Arts Conference), and I am proud that my clients do not all look like me or come from the same background. But that should be the norm, not a badge of honor. I encourage you to consider real diversity when it comes to organizing or attending events this year, and as you market your business. There’s much work to do here.

  3. Pretending that me being me, and you being you, isn’t worth thousands of dollars. Ok real talk- when I first started coaching {which btw I didn’t set out to do and struggled with that title!} I made a statement that, “I will never be one of those coaches that charges thousands for their programs.” And so I wasn’t…and I also didn’t make much money because even though I was ALL about teaching other people to charge their worth and price smartly and create a profitable business, I had put this enormous block around my own income. My subconscious was saying you’re not good enough, you’re not experienced enough, those other coaches do a whole lot of stuff you don’t do, they’re stealing from people, they’re charging high prices just so they can wear Louboutins to the beach… But what I’ve learned is that being ME, using my inherent skills and my intuition and my experiences of almost a decade in business, and thinking about my clients’ businesses, and researching things for them, and showing up present on calls and tapping into their energy and putting my energy into creating programs that will support them in finding their voice and building their dream- HELL YEAH THAT IS WORTH THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS. And truthfully, I’ve had more people complain or ask for a discount on a $20 experience than on any of my $500+ offers. If people aren’t buying talk to different people- because you ARE worth it and lowering your prices or your standards is hurting everyone. And my wealth goals are not about buying labels, they’re about ensuring me and my family have a happy fruitful life and that I’m helping other creative, big hearted, talented women also learn to do what they love and live & work in a way that brings them joy and comfort. Tiny home, mansion, gowns or paint stained jeans- your version of success & wealth is valid and worthy of pursuing.

  4. Enough with the kicking people’s butts into charging more or hustling more or acting like a 10k blueprint is going to solve all the issues. What I’m showing up with for my clients is straight up LOVE, not tough love, just love. Because behind all the doubts, and self conscious choices, and hesitation, and lack of visibility, and fear of connecting, fear of failure, fear of money, fear of success, trauma and hurt- is a lack of love. Love for oneself, love from others, connecting with the love from the Universe… most people are lacking in love of some form. Not blueprints, not 5k months, not ideas or strategies, they just need to experience a deep sense of love from the inside out and from those around them. So that’s what I’m showing up for. {And see point 3, we’ll connect it to the money!} But it’s not surface, or superficial, it’s not easy, it’s deep, it’s intense and it’s important.

All this has been rumbling beneath the surface and during a new moon release yesterday came to the forefront and had to be said. Saying all this feels out of my comfort zone, yet completely in my truth zone. And as I move through this year and share more experiences of truth telling outside the comfort zone, I will keep this quote in mind that I put on my vision board.

“I am not afraid, I was born to do this.” - Joan of Arc

A Year of Receiving

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I recently had some breakthroughs in my business. I decided to put my membership group on pause, focus seriously on 1-1 coaching, and relaunch my online course to run as a community program rather than passive income product. I had my best month of income from coaching in the last 2.5 years. It felt amazing, and I also had the question of "Why couldn't this have happened sooner?!" pop up. I know everything happens when it should and everything I've been through led me to this experience, but I wanted to look back and see what I'd done differently to allow this to occur. 

I'm an avid journal-er and it's so helpful (especially for those of us with poor memory) to have documentation of life & biz experiences over the last few years. And as I'm looking back the theme I notice is active awareness of receiving and my ability to call in, accept and celebrate what I want. I was continuously exploring and examining how I could receive (or why I wasn't), and although it was a mixed bag, 2017 and the beginning of 2018 were a whole lot of receiving of great opportunities, receiving signs, intuitive hits, and beautiful connections- but not much money. And it was honestly frustrating as hell. 

I can see now that it was a long practice in getting ready, in getting into alignment, in releasing old patterns, in gaining confidence, in overcoming fears, and step by step moving myself, my heart, and my head to finally connect the dots to put forth services that spoke to the right people, at the right price, at the right moment for me to stand up and serve at my highest level. 

I think I had been in denial that I was afraid to work with people long term one-on-one. I knew when I talked with people they had great experiences and were very grateful for my insights and guidance. I felt I was great at overcoming fears because I spoke in front of rooms full of people and tried lots of different things in my business. Yet, I was still afraid of not truly being able to help or provide transformation in my coaching. I also had stifled my own ability to receive fully by previously claiming I would never be a coach that charged thousands of dollars. That false income cap kept me stuck and limited because I wanted more money yet couldn't create a way to receive it in a format that actually spoke to my energy and my true needs. When I decided my VIP client work would be over $1000/month I felt ELATED and free. It took 2 more months after raising my price for the first client to come in. Another month for the second. Easiest sales I've ever made. (And, absolutely ideal clients who I adore!!) I created a second option for 1-1 work under a thousand dollars that also excited me and I brought in new clients within a few weeks for that too. I decided that while passive income is a great idea, it sparked no joy in me and made me feel I wasn't giving the very best to clients, so my online course went back to it's original format of a 5 week group program. I was creating based on what felt not just "good" but massively energizing and motivating for me, and finally the fear was outweighed by the excitement. Finally I felt settled in my service. I am doing the work I'm meant to, in the way I'm meant to, making money that feels truly reflective of my goals as well as my bigger purpose of impact. 

And while it was a lot of inner work, mindset work, and energy awareness, it was also allowing myself to change my approach to receiving ideas and putting offers out into the world. With the help of my current coach and guidance on my Human Design, I was finally able to give my ideas time to fully form, expand, be shared and create impact within my communities. And therefore, I wasn't praised for simply acting on inspiration (as had previously occurred from coaches/mentors), and I was actually able to receive new connections, new clients and money, by following through and working off longer timelines. The action was aligned, but still challenging, and yet the receiving was very easy. I no longer feel drawn to the hustle. I rest and still receive.

I know success is not a single end point, and that my path has many more curves and bumps and expansion to endure, but I'm grateful for all that led me here. I'm so honored to be working with people I admire, and still excited and optimistic of the unknown greatness that's to come. My belief that it will all work out is intact and I am committed to keep noticing the evidence of all I am receiving. 

Lessons from a 9 year relationship

Last week was my 9 year anniversary with my love. Here's what I've learned from a long term relationship as it relates to business- haha of course! 😝

1. Passion will get you started, daily commitment and rituals of re-commitment will move you through the years.

2. You will continue to evolve, not always at the same pace as others, your path is your own, stay open & be surprised by the gifts that come from change.

3. Support is sexy. But also, necessary, this is not a solo adventure. (Even if you're a solopreneur.)

4. Expressing yourself fully and honestly is a journey, ups and downs, but keep trying because you need to be heard.

5. More money does not equal more knowledge.

6. Save the drama for your llama. Keep your standards high, mindset positive, and toxic people out of your life.

7. Share your heart with those who will appreciate the gift that it is.

8. Everyone is weird, has baggage, has quirks, has doubts, fears, set backs, challenges, skills, and generally has little idea of how to "adult" in any given situation.

9. Don't forget to have fun, soak up all the good moments, be grateful for what you've got, and above all else ENJOY!!

(Bonus #10 from my guy: Sharing is caring.😊)

How Wedding Planning is Just Like Running a Business

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I’ve found the lessons of wedding planning and running my own business are remarkably similar, and unfortunately for both brides/grooms and entrepreneurs it’s not until you’re in the thick of it you really understand the importance of these lessons. So I’ll repeat them now in hopes someone will take it to heart and maybe find more ease in each (ad)venture.

  1. You don’t have to obey tradition, do what speaks to you and your life. In this day and age both weddings and businesses can happen in a variety of ways, in different fashions, and while there are some traditional elements that make sense and are widely practiced for a reason, you have a lot of choice in how you do business/plan a wedding. Explore your options and choose what feels right to you. Customization is key for both fulfillment and success.

  2. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone. And probably 90% of what other people think won’t align with what you really want. And in both business and wedding planning it’s a great practice to listen, consider, respond politely and continue doing whatever the heck you know is right for YOU.

  3. This will impact you and your family for years to come. Obviously a wedding impacts multiple families, but so does starting and running a business. And in both cases you’ll deal with some sticky things- like money, religion, values, power statuses, interpersonal relationships and practicing compassion. So even if you’re sure your partner or business is “the one” it can still feel risky or scary taking the leap.

  4. You’re going to discover new things about yourself. Running your own business forces you, almost constantly, to uncover layers of yourself and question how and why you do things certain ways. (At least it does if you’re a conscious creator and open to learning about yourself.) And this is a good thing, it helps you to expand and become more interesting as you learn more about your inner world and the position you want to hold as a professional. And in wedding planning you have to face certain questions you’ve never asked before about what’s important to you and the kind of partner and in-law you want to be. Allow this to be an opportunity of growth. (That applies for every situation in business FYI!)

  5. Accept help and support. It’s really a lovely thing when you realize how many people around you want to help and are ready to support you. As a lifelong “I can do it myself” kind of person, the most impactful moment in my business life was when I started continuously asking for help and actually receiving support in ways I had never experienced. And even though most people would hope their friends and family would be eager to support during the wedding planning process, it still feels really nice to hear people ask what they can do, offer to show up for multiple events, and contribute however they can so your life is easier. Accept the help, don’t be a crazy person, it’s a lot of work!!

  6. Find the joy. This is what I come back to whenever things start to feel less than great. As a business owner, wearing multiple hats, things can get overwhelming and stressful and it’s not always fun. Find the joy, reconnect with your purpose and personal mission and remember it’s not meant to be a struggle. A wedding should be focused on love, if it’s gotten off course and become more about the “stuff” or certain people’s needs than the love, bring it back and find the joy.