How to Handle LACK

I'm sitting on my couch, sun coming in through the windows, in total comfort... and also aware of this underlying feeling of - lack.

Or rather FEAR of lack. 


I look around and can see abundance. Yet the feeling persists. 


Everyone is diving into the holiday spirit- which actually seems to means a huge focus on buying gifts, mostly. I feel the tension from my past self coming in... how will I participate in the holidays and gift in a way that feels, not just good, but good ENOUGH??


A huge piece of my money story includes NOT being able to be as generous materially as I would have liked with my friends and family. 


I know I'm generous emotionally with my loved ones. I listen, I show up for them, I support them... but I also always had this love language of giving great gifts that seemed to be impossible to act on the way I wanted! 


Each year during birthdays, holidays, even just random times I felt the urge to "gift", I'd feel total LACK. It felt terrible, it still feels terrible thinking of all the times I just COULDN'T live, love & share in the way I wanted. 


I knew inner Sonya, higher self Sonya, was a generous gifter- not to "show off"  or to avoid emotions or to do anything besides give someone something I knew would bring JOY. 


It's true money DOES NOT BUY HAPPINESS. But let's be real!
It totally CAN increase our comfort, our safety, our health, our freedom, our ability to live- and yes love- the way we truly desire. 


So if LOVE isn't a good enough reason to aim for MORE THAN ENOUGH, I don't know what is. 
 

I will aim for wealth because of love- because I LOVE myself and I want to be safe, comfortable, healthy and fully living the way I feel called to. Which includes being generous with people I love. During the holidays- and anytime the desire strikes!


I will aim for wealth because I LOVE my family, and the little souls that I know are in my future family. They also deserve safety, comfort and health in the highest degree I can provide.


I will aim for wealth because I LOVE my clients and my work. The more money I make means the more women I've impacted, the more I've helped. The more they are living in alignment with their highest selves.

And now I will surrender again- to allowing wealth in, to allowing myself to receive, to allowing myself to THINK and ACT differently so I can continue along my path of true alignment. I know that true alignment includes wealth, includes joy, includes living, working & loving EXACTLY as my heart desires.


I will add gifts to online carts and practice gratitude, tapping into abundance that is circulating around all of us. I will use my tools to energetically, emotionally and materially create an experience that FEELS GOOD to my highest self.


I invite you to do the same. I invite you to allow in the joy, the love, the wealth that is 100% available to you right now. Breathe it in! Allow the flow, allow the surrender.

*Get support for stepping into your next level of wealth & abundance mindset by checking out how we can work together.

How my fear of burn out blocked my receiving.

When I was in high school I would go to bed at 9pm on the dot because I had to wake up early (circa 5:30) every morning and there was no way I was sacrificing my sleep. My sleep time is sacred.

My family would make fun of me, they joked they never knew a teenager who would put herself to bed so early. I would stop doing homework even if I wasn’t finished, so I could get my 8 hours in. I was 100% happy to be a B student if it meant I was also rested and healthy. (Art & English were my “A” classes and those were all I really cared about anyway… they’ve served me well!)

Fast forward to 2012 starting my photography business full-time and working like a crazy. I still got my sleep, but I worked like 60 hours a week - in hustle mode, networking, learning and shooting for not enough money.

I wouldn’t say I ever hit burn out, but at some point I realized I wasn’t getting the results I wanted and so I stopped. I stopped doing the business tasks others said I should if they felt forced, uninspired and weren’t bringing the results I wanted. I raised my prices. I spent time off with my boyfriend (now husband) I let myself off the hook and chilled the f*ck out and remembered I should have FUN with this creative business.

In 2015 when I launched my coaching business I again went into overdrive working because, honestly, I was SO FLIPPIN’ EXCITED to get my message out into the world and help other creatives. But, again, I found myself feeling like I was doing a lot of work and still not receiving the results I was really craving. Recenter, reevaluate, realign.

As I’ve gone full-time with my coaching, speaking, and now retreat hosting- I’ve had MAJOR resistance to adding to my work schedule. I fear the hustle. I fear burn out SO badly, even though I’ve never really been there. But I’ve heard the horror stories of other entrepreneurs going into adrenal fatigue, losing love for their work, experiencing anxiety & depression, and generally living an unhealthy lifestyle because of overworking. I also have a chronic pain condition and know stress and physically overworking is harmful.

I like spaciousness, I like calm, I like sleep, I like me time. I feared taking on more clients meant I’d lose all that. I feared I would spend nights ignoring my husband and working. I feared I’d not take care of my body.

So often, when inspiration to work would hit I’d RESIST going to meditate or write or send an email because I thought '“No, Sonya, don’t be one of those workaholics! Take your playtime, don’t work after dinner, don’t work weekends, don’t fall into the trap.” But I realized-

I was actually keeping myself from receiving what I wanted- which was more opportunity to do the work which energizes and lights me up so much! More clients who I adore and feel so honored and excited to support. More money which would support my self care, my travels, my goals, and mean my work was having a bigger impact in the world. I blocked myself from receiving all that because I feared being overrun by work and losing my spacious schedule.

Now I know, I don’t have to fear that because I’ve already made it a habit to get my sleep in, to take time for me every morning before I work, to break for lunch and workout, to shut the laptop when I’m tired and to not push, but rather, flow. My theme this year was “Power Flow” and to me that means leaning into all the things I’m being drawn to create, offer, host and how I expand my reach into the world- while maintaining a deep sense of self, of sacred downtime, of spaciousness. That’s all part of my work now. I’ve mastered it, and I no longer have to fear burn out.

I’m primed for massive receiving. I’m ready for more. I’m eager to power flow into my next levels of joy, wealth and impact. And it’s already happening.

Need to recharge, receive and create some intentional space for clarity to come through? Check out my Expansive Experiences Costa Rica retreat! Early bird ends 12/12! Join us for a 5 day spiritual biz retreat for women March 12th-17th 2020. (Bonus community & group coaching program included and kicks off 1/20/20.)

Now I cannot fit in.

I worked so hard to build a mainstream life. A normal life. A don’t see “my weird” life. Only to realize- I’m forging my own stream. A wild life. A weird in the open life.

I started long ago but I didn’t realize it, or as I did I got nervous, embarrassed, quiet, content.

I can “just fit in”. // I cannot.

I am “just like the others”. // I am not.

I will “just be happy getting by”. // I will not.

Everything I was called to, everything I hid, everything I wanted to share, everything I’ve ever done- has come to a messy, beautiful, expansive peak.

An arrow to the future.

Now I don’t fit in.

Now I am not like the others.

Now I am only happy going above & beyond.

Now my choreographer dreams collide with divine downloads of movement.

Now my poetry comes out as declarations of self love & inspiration for my soulmate clients.

Now my travels become my work trips.

I am EXPANDING. Are you?

7 Tips for Launch & Burn Coaches

Something I’m seeing in the coaching world that’s hurting people:

Kick butt coaches/consultants who change their niche every 6 months. They do a big launch for one kind of service/program then get burnt out. Then switch directions and maybe drop their current audience. Maybe disappear from the online world for a while. Maybe burn down their current business structure and start something totally new. Loved what they were doing? Too bad *poof* it’s gone forever!

Oooof it’s exhausting just watching! Nevermind, the clients who get left behind after investing in someone they were really excited about. It’s one & done. It’s a little, well, “millenial” to be honest…

Some things to consider if you want to coach & do launches and you are multi-passionate:

1. Create a business that can include expansion. Maybe that means adjusting your biz name or title, maybe that means setting up your core offers to run as passive income while you explore, create & launch new things. Maybe that means you need 2 websites.

2. Consider your patterns. Why do you love this launch & burn cycle? What about it is temporarily filling a void within you? What pieces are connected to your money story? What pieces are connected to your fears, insecurities?

3. Are you really listening CONSISTENTLY to your higher self & inner guidance? Because she does noooot love you burning out. Ain’t about that life. So how can you keep tuning in, keep yourself in biz, and acknowledge your triggers for overexertion?

4. Fear of commitment. Straight up.

5. You’re not creating a business or brand in alignment with your truest self. Because you should never get burned out on being you. If it’s taking too much energy to consistently show up, something is off. And if you’re not playing the right role in your biz, ask yourself what that is and what kind of support do you actually need to sustain yourself?

6. If you’re providing any kind of coaching or healing services I believe you should take your clients’ process into consideration before you run in another direction. Not that they should hold you back, but have you even thought of how to help them transition to work with someone else or give them support as you change things? These are people who’ve invested in you after all, respect them.

7. If you’re feeling unfulfilled it’s probably because you’re not experiencing the sweetness of longevity in your work. You’re not allowing yourself to have that- to create, and tweak, get feedback, and adjust and expand within the container of work you created. Dating is fun, relationships are better. Allow yourself to sit through the ups & downs of what you’re creating, and experience the joy of seeing it through. Of running your offer again & again and seeing it grow. Seeing your clients come back. Seeing yourself challenged to master something. That’s fulfilling. Creating is easy, sustaining and expanding is the true work.

If you’ve been on this rollercoaster of launching and burning I invite you to step off. To come down from the adrenaline rush, and take a long walk with yourself.

There’s beauty in the calmness. There’s comfort in commitment. There’s legacy in longevity.

And consider who is supporting and coaching you through all this? Are they also on the rollercoaster? Are they saying “Yes! Do it all! Launch, launch, launch! Follow your new idea!” or are they calling you out on the deeper reasons you’re jumping around and burning out? I’m sure all your ideas are great. In fact, there’s time for all of them, but not like this. This is chaos. This is not creating a cohesive brand. This is not allowing you fulfillment and true success. You don’t need just a cheerleader, you need a truth talker. And you can come see me for that.